Guess I'll end this life alone
I am not dramatic, these are just the thoughts that pass right through me
All the douchebags in my phone
Play 'em like a slot machine, if they're winning, I'm just losing

A boy who's jacked and kind
Can't find his ass to save my life

Oh, it's slim pickins
If I can't have the one I love, I guess it's you that I'll be kissin'
Just to get my fixins
Since the good ones are deceased or taken
I'll just keep on moanin' and bitchin'

Jesus, what's a girl to do?
This boy doesn't even know the difference between "there", "their", and "they are"
Yet, he's naked in my room
Missin' all the things he's missin', God knows that he isn't livin' large

A boy who's nice, that breathes
I swear, he's nowhere to be seen

It's slim pickins
If I can't have the one I love, I guess it's you that I'll be kissin'
Just to get my fixins
Since the good ones are deceased or taken
I'll just keep on moanin' and bitchin'
Moanin' and bitchin'

Since the good ones call their exes wasted
And since the Lord forgot my gay awakening
Then I'll just be here in the kitchen
Servin' up some moanin' and bitchin'