I want it to be like, messy

I'm so insecure, I think
That I'll die before I drink
And I'm so caught up in the news
Of who likes me, and who hates you

And I'm so tired that I might
Quit my job, start a new life
And they'd all be so disappointed
'Cause who am I, if not exploited

And I'm so sick of seventeen
Where's my f**king teenage dream?
If someone tells me one more time
"Enjoy your youth", I'm gonna cry

And I don't stick up for myself
I'm anxious and nothing can help
And I wish I'd done this before
And I wish people liked me more

All I did was try my best
This the kinda thanks I get?
Unrelentlessly upset (Uh, oh)

They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crush is so severe
God, it's brutal out here

I feel like no one wants me
And I hate the way I'm perceived
I only have two real friends
And lately, I'm a nervous wreck

'Cause I love people I don't like
And I hate every song I write
And I'm not cool, and I'm not smart
And I can't even parallel park

All I did was try my best
This the kinda thanks I get?
Unrelentlessly upset (Uh, oh)

They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crush is so severe
God, it's brutal out here

(She's having a really good time)

Got a broken ego, broken heart
And God, I don't even know where to start